Friday, July 10, 2009

Cystoscopy - Coming Soon?

This afternoon, I have to go and see my urologist. I was sent to him with a diagnosis of hematuria (and particulate in the urine). The suggested procedure is to have a cystoscopy to make sure that there is not a kidney stone (or something) in my bladder.

I have to admit to my blog reading community that I am not looking forward to today. This is not a procedure that has me excited in the least. I'm having a difficult time resolving my fear and handing it over to God. I know that I do not need to worry and that He cares for me. It's just tough, sometimes. Part of it might be some type of male cultural problem (who knows?).

I thought I'd compose the rest of my blog as a prayer, written after the format that Jesus gave the disciples when they asked Him how they should pray. As a reader, you get to enjoy a glimpse into my personal relationship with God, and see a bit of my fears handed over. It will sound slightly formal, but that is mostly because I have the time to type it all out (not just praying in my mind, or out loud). Here it goes:

My Father in Heaven,

You are wonderful and awesome. You knit me together in my mother's womb, and You have laid out the plans for my life. I love that You know me so intimately and have that You know all things. I pray today that my life can be a pointer to You and Your kingdom. Today I come to you with fear in my heart. I have a cystoscopy potentially scheduled for this afternoon, and I am not looking forward to it. My hope is that I do not need the procedure at all. I know that You have provided us with doctors to help when we are sick and that I need to trust my doctors in this matter. I just ask that Yyou would take away my fears and worries, and allow me to rest in Your comfort. Thank you for loving me despite my sins. I know that You continue to forgive me even though I continue to fail You. Please help me to follow Your Word more closely in my life. Help me not to allow fear and worry to creep into my heart as I face things I do not understand. Thank you for your Son, Jesus, who died for my sins.

Amen

So, I will go to see my urologist at 2:10 pm this afternoon. I haven't seen him since January of last year when Jenny and I were trying to figure out why she wasn't getting pregnant. It will be nice to give him the good news that she is due in December.

It might be a few days before I post again. I suppose my Facebook Friends or Twitter Followers will probably hear about my appointment before my blog readers do.
Enjoy your days, and know that I will be great (and that I am still feeling wonderful).
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